As Athletic As His Mom

...but unfortunately, not as athletic as his father.  Sigh.  But that is okay.  My husband and I decided that we would much rather that our son have brains than brawn.  And he is very, very, very, smart.  But, to fit in with other kids, he has to learn how to do athletic things.  At the suggestion of a teacher, we started with tossing a ball and catching it.  Sigh. 

 

 

 

Sigh.  Ah well.  At least we have a direction to head towards.   

Smile, Damn It

Part of me wants to apologize for the profane nature of the title of this blog entry.  The other part of me is reminding myself that this is my blog, and I'll say what I want.

However, there is a reason why I chose that title.  Today was picture day at my son's charter homeschool.  I was so excited.  We went out and bought him a special shirt for his pictures; we even were sure to have his hair trimmed two weeks before today so that it could look trim, but not severe.  I even made sure to wipe off all of the yogurt off of his face before the fact.

I thought that I prepared for everything.  I didn't.

My son cannot smile on command.  To do so, I have to get him to say "money" or "cheese."  If I am really desperate, I can call him "guapo" (handsome in Spanish) in a very flirty voice, which usually makes him smile. 

None of that worked today.  It was bad.  The photographer (who didn't have much patience to begin with) couldn't get him to smile either.  So, I paid $30 for really, really bad pictures. 

But who is at fault here?  The cranky photographer?  My non-smiling child (who does smile, but never when requested of him)?  Or me, for expecting too much out of him?

Maybe it's because I'm Catholic, or because I am mom, but the guilt probably lies with me.  We haven't practiced fake smiling (which we should work on.  It is a skill I have mastered.) enough.  But maybe, it is just my fault because I put too much stock into a stupid school picture.

Here's a picture of my kid giving you a fake smile.

How Could You Leave Us?

Okay; maybe the title of this post is a bit dramatic.  But when I got the news, I felt like I was being left. 

Was I being dumped?  No.  A friend of mine decided that homeschooling was not for her, and decided to put her son back into regular school. 

I will be the very first person to jump to her defense.  That friend is a wonderful lady with two handsome, smart, but special needs children.  I really think that schooling her son at home was simply too taxing for her, as she had so many other lifestyle and health tasks to manage with her sons. 

She gave it her best shot, though, which is excellent.  There are probably so many people out there who talk about giving homeschool a shot, but never go through it. 

But I will miss her at co-op meet-ups.  I will miss her happy, boisterous and engaging son.  He was such a good influence on my shyer boy. 

But we all have different paths in life.  Different experiences and changes benefit all of us.  It is simply kind of sad when someone "leaves" our life before we want them to. 

Routine

Having a healthy routine for a homeschooling environment works great for productivity.  Here is our weekly schedule:

5:15 a.m. - The Boy wakes up.  Sigh.  I attribute that to his farmer genes.  After some morning affection, he dashes off to the kitchen to play his morning Angry Birds time. 

5:40 a.m. - Everyone is awake.  The hubs gets ready for work, and I head to the kitchen to get the boy some water and get online to check my book sales (I'm a writer). 

6:00 a.m. - Oatmeal breakfast for me and the boy.  Every single day without fail.  It is the best way for he and I to get the day started. 

6:20 a.m. - He gets his morning Wii time.  During this time, I finish up whatever it is I am doing online and then proceed to dress (and put make up on), make the bed, straighten up the living room before starting the homeschool lesson.

7:00 a.m. - After he is done with his timed Wii time, he gets changed and comes to the kitchen table for the morning's homeschool session. 

9:00 a.m. - We are usually done by the time.  After this, we do chores, get ready to go on play dates, coop meet-ups, or whatever errands we might have.

1:00 p.m. - Additional penmanship, art, or math work occurs. 



The above schedule only occurs between Monday through Friday.  On Saturdays I do zero homeschooling (which my son does not approve of).  However, I will grade whatever voluntary work he does.  On Sunday, I take about an hour and a half to do the homeschool planning for the following week. 

The above is what works for me.  On a personal note, I find that getting dressed and putting makeup on makes me feel more prepared for my roles and my day.  Let's face it - keeping house, tending to kids AND homeschooling them is not one job, but THREE jobs.  We have to do whatever we can to give ourselves a boost for the day.

Making Mistakes, and Why We Should Make More of Them

I think that it is easier for a school-aged child to fail around their teachers than it is to fail before their parents.  If you think about it, they only see that teacher for a short time a day, but they live with us during their nights, weekends, holidays, and over their summers.  They are much more vested in their relationships with us than they are with their teachers. 

So, the homeschooling child will probably react quite negatively to criticism in regards to their work.  I've seen it with my son. 

I  hate seeing my son get so upset with himself.  I try to express that it is okay to be wrong, but what we have to work on is learning from our mistakes.  But I think that he gets hung up on his error and cannot see beyond that. 

But I found a way to let him know that it is okay to make mistakes.  I began to be quite vocal with my mistakes.  For example, during cooking, I sometimes misplace cooking items and utensils.  This is what I would say:

"Whoops.  I accidentally put the salt in the fridge, again.  I got a little confused."  I then would then place the item in the correct place (while my son watched me). 

Here's another kitchen mistake:

"Oh, no.  I spilled the flour on the ground.  My mistake.  I'll just have to be a little more careful next time."   I would then calmly clean up my mess. 


I make mistakes when I write, too.

"That "p"  is a bit too sloppy.  I can do better than that."  I would then calmly erase it before redoing it. 

Sometimes, my mistakes are deliberate.  My son's penmanship is a bit sloppy at times.  While writing, I'll sometimes draw a messy s or g.  "I can do better than that," I would calmly say before correcting my "mistake." 

My son still makes mistakes, but now he'll say things like: "I got confused," or "my mistake," and even "I can do better than that." 

I was told that my behavior was called modeling, and I must say that it works.  So keep that in mind when you watch your homeschooling (and regular schooling) child when he/she makes mistakes.  Make some of your own and be vocal about your correction.  Our little sponges are watching and listening, after all.

The Cost of Homeschooling

It seems like it should be free.  No tuition costs.  No need for new clothing.  No daycare expenses.  No money for lunches.  Not having to supply the entire school with dry-erase markers, Ticonderoga pencils, or name-brand tissues.  But it is not free. 

I live in a state that features charter homeschools.  Because of that, we are able to get our curriculum for free.  Whatever we don't get for free, we buy (or make) ourselves.  We can afford to do that though, as my husband makes a comfortable salary in the military, and because I stayed at home to begin with (so there was no lost income). 

But that is not the case with all states.  Some families have to pay for their entire curriculums up front.  That is EXPENSIVE. 

So, along with hundreds of dollars worth of textbooks, they are also paying for pencils, paper, printer paper, printer ink, gas for taxiing children to activities outside the home, admission for museums, etc. 

Something else that needs considered is the loss of a second income - if that parent was working prior to homeschooling their children. 

Before embarking on this quest, it would be smart to do a cost/benefit analysis to determine the cost of homeschooling.  But what cannot be tabulated or quantified is the peace of mind that comes with knowing that your kid will be with you at all times.

Keep that in mind when deciding whether or not homeschooling is best for your family. 

The Edge On Us

The truth is that my son is far, far beyond his peers academically speaking.  He will graduate before them, I'm sure, and he'll be able to begin college before them as well as joining the workforce.

But the truth is that regular school-goers have the edge on him when it comes to group dynamics - for now.   I think that there is something to the mindset that a child has after he's had his breakfast, has gotten dressed, straps on his backpack and then gets ready to board a bus.  That kid has a plan.  That kid has expectations.  That kid might even have a plan on how to adjust his plans if things shift on him.  That is excellent preparation for the real world. 

My son has plans.  He gets up in the morning, plays Angry Birds, eats oatmeal with me, plays his short morning Wii time, gets changed and makes his bed and then excitedly begins his homeschool time (and happily dominates all of the subjects).  After that, he might have schoolhouse classes at the homeschool building (two hours once a week), we might go to the zoo for a meet-up, or we might go to our homeschool co-op class meet-up (once a week). 

He is happy with his day.  I am happy with our days.  I get to teach my son at his level, I don't have to worry about peanuts, I get to learn things with my son (again) and I get to spend my time with my son.  He is a treat.  He is a delight and he makes me so darned happy. 

But I want him to get that edge that schoolhouse kids have - the one where they have plans that they carry out independently. 

We'll get there.

This Homeschooler's Summer

Today is Labor Day, and we are still homeschooling.  As a matter of fact, we homeschooled every day of Cade's summer.  Why?  Because he wanted to.  Also, because he would have been VERY bored had we not done so. 

Because of the nature of my husband's military career, we can't just get up and go on vacation.  Our family lives many states away, which precludes us from spending time with them.  Also, we are very boring people.  I won't send my son to a summer camp as I have trust issues and he has a peanut allergy. 

So what did we do over the summer?  We homeschooled every single day.  We also went to the zoo, we went hiking, we went shopping, we went on play dates, and we also did nothing.  We'd do homeschool and would spend the rest of the day at home.

He got bored those days, which made me feel guilty.  But then I reminded myself that I had to teach my son to map his own days.  He had (and still has to) create his own entertainment and amusement.  And what is so wrong with being bored anyway?  There are many worse things to be than bored. 

Still, I felt guilty when I would see pictures on Facebook that featured my friends' families going on vacation, visiting national parks...  We do those things too, but just not always during the summer.

Maybe what I need to do is rethink my idea of "summer vacations."  Being that we homeschool, we can vacation in any time of the year that we want. 

Wheels are turning, now.  I think that I am about to plan our next family vacation.