We'll Just Stay Home, Thank You Very Much

Jiminy Christmas.  I cannot believe how much schools have changed since I last attended them.  Here's on news article that caught my eye:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/09/living/parents-middle-school-bans-balls-recess/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

And another:

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/los_angeles&id=9277392

(The above article is about a school where three teachers work - all three have contracted thyroid cancer). 

The two news articles are different, I know, but they go towards my argument for parents educating their children instead of outsourcing that to school districts. 

In defense of schools and old-time-teaching, I think that there was nothing wrong with dodge ball.  True, I sucked at it and got pelted like crazy.  Still, the excitement shared by the kids playing the game was invigorating like nothing else was.  Now schools are say no to balls?  That is too bad. 
Being a 36 year old adult, I can honestly say that getting smacked in the head with a ball produces no life skills.  But the chasing, laughing, and fear are fun.  Fun is always valid and welcome. 

Taking your kid to a school where there have been cancer outbreaks?  Bad idea. 

So think on it.  Whose job is it to prepare our children for the world?  Whose job is it to keep our children safe?  It is the job of the parents. 

What I Know That They Don't Know...

Time passes by so quickly.  I can still remember when my then one-year-old son used to hand me his sippy could and would say "Bobosina."  I have no idea where the word came from, but knew that it meant that he needed more water in his sippy cup. 

I still remember how he used to climb on my back to take a nap (while I lay belly down on the floor, writing fiction in a composition notebook) back when he was two.  I loved the way his weight felt.

I love the way he climbs into bed with me and his dad every single morning for some talking and some "lovin'".  One day that will stop, too.

But for now, and for the rest of his schooling years, I have him.  I have this wonderful little man who makes me think, makes me laugh, makes me smile, makes me grow and keeps me company every single day.  There is no reason why I should dispatch my happiness-filled boy to a school that will not treasure him like I do. 

Sure, I will have to let him go one day, but what I know that others don't know is that I don't have to do that yet.  I know that this is the best time of my life.  I don't know that other parents know that. 

As Athletic As His Mom

...but unfortunately, not as athletic as his father.  Sigh.  But that is okay.  My husband and I decided that we would much rather that our son have brains than brawn.  And he is very, very, very, smart.  But, to fit in with other kids, he has to learn how to do athletic things.  At the suggestion of a teacher, we started with tossing a ball and catching it.  Sigh. 

 

 

 

Sigh.  Ah well.  At least we have a direction to head towards.   

Smile, Damn It

Part of me wants to apologize for the profane nature of the title of this blog entry.  The other part of me is reminding myself that this is my blog, and I'll say what I want.

However, there is a reason why I chose that title.  Today was picture day at my son's charter homeschool.  I was so excited.  We went out and bought him a special shirt for his pictures; we even were sure to have his hair trimmed two weeks before today so that it could look trim, but not severe.  I even made sure to wipe off all of the yogurt off of his face before the fact.

I thought that I prepared for everything.  I didn't.

My son cannot smile on command.  To do so, I have to get him to say "money" or "cheese."  If I am really desperate, I can call him "guapo" (handsome in Spanish) in a very flirty voice, which usually makes him smile. 

None of that worked today.  It was bad.  The photographer (who didn't have much patience to begin with) couldn't get him to smile either.  So, I paid $30 for really, really bad pictures. 

But who is at fault here?  The cranky photographer?  My non-smiling child (who does smile, but never when requested of him)?  Or me, for expecting too much out of him?

Maybe it's because I'm Catholic, or because I am mom, but the guilt probably lies with me.  We haven't practiced fake smiling (which we should work on.  It is a skill I have mastered.) enough.  But maybe, it is just my fault because I put too much stock into a stupid school picture.

Here's a picture of my kid giving you a fake smile.

How Could You Leave Us?

Okay; maybe the title of this post is a bit dramatic.  But when I got the news, I felt like I was being left. 

Was I being dumped?  No.  A friend of mine decided that homeschooling was not for her, and decided to put her son back into regular school. 

I will be the very first person to jump to her defense.  That friend is a wonderful lady with two handsome, smart, but special needs children.  I really think that schooling her son at home was simply too taxing for her, as she had so many other lifestyle and health tasks to manage with her sons. 

She gave it her best shot, though, which is excellent.  There are probably so many people out there who talk about giving homeschool a shot, but never go through it. 

But I will miss her at co-op meet-ups.  I will miss her happy, boisterous and engaging son.  He was such a good influence on my shyer boy. 

But we all have different paths in life.  Different experiences and changes benefit all of us.  It is simply kind of sad when someone "leaves" our life before we want them to. 

Routine

Having a healthy routine for a homeschooling environment works great for productivity.  Here is our weekly schedule:

5:15 a.m. - The Boy wakes up.  Sigh.  I attribute that to his farmer genes.  After some morning affection, he dashes off to the kitchen to play his morning Angry Birds time. 

5:40 a.m. - Everyone is awake.  The hubs gets ready for work, and I head to the kitchen to get the boy some water and get online to check my book sales (I'm a writer). 

6:00 a.m. - Oatmeal breakfast for me and the boy.  Every single day without fail.  It is the best way for he and I to get the day started. 

6:20 a.m. - He gets his morning Wii time.  During this time, I finish up whatever it is I am doing online and then proceed to dress (and put make up on), make the bed, straighten up the living room before starting the homeschool lesson.

7:00 a.m. - After he is done with his timed Wii time, he gets changed and comes to the kitchen table for the morning's homeschool session. 

9:00 a.m. - We are usually done by the time.  After this, we do chores, get ready to go on play dates, coop meet-ups, or whatever errands we might have.

1:00 p.m. - Additional penmanship, art, or math work occurs. 



The above schedule only occurs between Monday through Friday.  On Saturdays I do zero homeschooling (which my son does not approve of).  However, I will grade whatever voluntary work he does.  On Sunday, I take about an hour and a half to do the homeschool planning for the following week. 

The above is what works for me.  On a personal note, I find that getting dressed and putting makeup on makes me feel more prepared for my roles and my day.  Let's face it - keeping house, tending to kids AND homeschooling them is not one job, but THREE jobs.  We have to do whatever we can to give ourselves a boost for the day.

Making Mistakes, and Why We Should Make More of Them

I think that it is easier for a school-aged child to fail around their teachers than it is to fail before their parents.  If you think about it, they only see that teacher for a short time a day, but they live with us during their nights, weekends, holidays, and over their summers.  They are much more vested in their relationships with us than they are with their teachers. 

So, the homeschooling child will probably react quite negatively to criticism in regards to their work.  I've seen it with my son. 

I  hate seeing my son get so upset with himself.  I try to express that it is okay to be wrong, but what we have to work on is learning from our mistakes.  But I think that he gets hung up on his error and cannot see beyond that. 

But I found a way to let him know that it is okay to make mistakes.  I began to be quite vocal with my mistakes.  For example, during cooking, I sometimes misplace cooking items and utensils.  This is what I would say:

"Whoops.  I accidentally put the salt in the fridge, again.  I got a little confused."  I then would then place the item in the correct place (while my son watched me). 

Here's another kitchen mistake:

"Oh, no.  I spilled the flour on the ground.  My mistake.  I'll just have to be a little more careful next time."   I would then calmly clean up my mess. 


I make mistakes when I write, too.

"That "p"  is a bit too sloppy.  I can do better than that."  I would then calmly erase it before redoing it. 

Sometimes, my mistakes are deliberate.  My son's penmanship is a bit sloppy at times.  While writing, I'll sometimes draw a messy s or g.  "I can do better than that," I would calmly say before correcting my "mistake." 

My son still makes mistakes, but now he'll say things like: "I got confused," or "my mistake," and even "I can do better than that." 

I was told that my behavior was called modeling, and I must say that it works.  So keep that in mind when you watch your homeschooling (and regular schooling) child when he/she makes mistakes.  Make some of your own and be vocal about your correction.  Our little sponges are watching and listening, after all.

The Cost of Homeschooling

It seems like it should be free.  No tuition costs.  No need for new clothing.  No daycare expenses.  No money for lunches.  Not having to supply the entire school with dry-erase markers, Ticonderoga pencils, or name-brand tissues.  But it is not free. 

I live in a state that features charter homeschools.  Because of that, we are able to get our curriculum for free.  Whatever we don't get for free, we buy (or make) ourselves.  We can afford to do that though, as my husband makes a comfortable salary in the military, and because I stayed at home to begin with (so there was no lost income). 

But that is not the case with all states.  Some families have to pay for their entire curriculums up front.  That is EXPENSIVE. 

So, along with hundreds of dollars worth of textbooks, they are also paying for pencils, paper, printer paper, printer ink, gas for taxiing children to activities outside the home, admission for museums, etc. 

Something else that needs considered is the loss of a second income - if that parent was working prior to homeschooling their children. 

Before embarking on this quest, it would be smart to do a cost/benefit analysis to determine the cost of homeschooling.  But what cannot be tabulated or quantified is the peace of mind that comes with knowing that your kid will be with you at all times.

Keep that in mind when deciding whether or not homeschooling is best for your family. 

The Edge On Us

The truth is that my son is far, far beyond his peers academically speaking.  He will graduate before them, I'm sure, and he'll be able to begin college before them as well as joining the workforce.

But the truth is that regular school-goers have the edge on him when it comes to group dynamics - for now.   I think that there is something to the mindset that a child has after he's had his breakfast, has gotten dressed, straps on his backpack and then gets ready to board a bus.  That kid has a plan.  That kid has expectations.  That kid might even have a plan on how to adjust his plans if things shift on him.  That is excellent preparation for the real world. 

My son has plans.  He gets up in the morning, plays Angry Birds, eats oatmeal with me, plays his short morning Wii time, gets changed and makes his bed and then excitedly begins his homeschool time (and happily dominates all of the subjects).  After that, he might have schoolhouse classes at the homeschool building (two hours once a week), we might go to the zoo for a meet-up, or we might go to our homeschool co-op class meet-up (once a week). 

He is happy with his day.  I am happy with our days.  I get to teach my son at his level, I don't have to worry about peanuts, I get to learn things with my son (again) and I get to spend my time with my son.  He is a treat.  He is a delight and he makes me so darned happy. 

But I want him to get that edge that schoolhouse kids have - the one where they have plans that they carry out independently. 

We'll get there.

This Homeschooler's Summer

Today is Labor Day, and we are still homeschooling.  As a matter of fact, we homeschooled every day of Cade's summer.  Why?  Because he wanted to.  Also, because he would have been VERY bored had we not done so. 

Because of the nature of my husband's military career, we can't just get up and go on vacation.  Our family lives many states away, which precludes us from spending time with them.  Also, we are very boring people.  I won't send my son to a summer camp as I have trust issues and he has a peanut allergy. 

So what did we do over the summer?  We homeschooled every single day.  We also went to the zoo, we went hiking, we went shopping, we went on play dates, and we also did nothing.  We'd do homeschool and would spend the rest of the day at home.

He got bored those days, which made me feel guilty.  But then I reminded myself that I had to teach my son to map his own days.  He had (and still has to) create his own entertainment and amusement.  And what is so wrong with being bored anyway?  There are many worse things to be than bored. 

Still, I felt guilty when I would see pictures on Facebook that featured my friends' families going on vacation, visiting national parks...  We do those things too, but just not always during the summer.

Maybe what I need to do is rethink my idea of "summer vacations."  Being that we homeschool, we can vacation in any time of the year that we want. 

Wheels are turning, now.  I think that I am about to plan our next family vacation.

Where Are The Normal People?

It is a reasonable question to ask.  These days, it seems like everyone has something - autism, ADHD, lactose intolerance, peanut allergies, gluten allergies, or shellfish allergies. 

Did these always exist?  Maybe. 

I was sure that my guy was "normal" - with the exception of the peanut allergy.  But the truth is that he has a hard time making eye contact with strangers, has a VERY hard time warming up to other kids, and he has a nervous tic.  Has he been screened for autism?  Yes.  Many times.  He doesn't have it, but he might have something.  They say that another mark for autism might be exceptional intelligence in one area; my son is brilliant in math, but he is also brilliant in English, Geography, languages, and science too.  He is not an across the board genius, as he is at his grade level for certain things, but he is clever.

But might something be going on with him?  Maybe.  A dear friend of mine who has an a borderline autistic son (who is also brilliant, polite, and oh-so sweet) mentioned that he might have a little something.  I believe her.  But what can I do if he doesn't fit the hallmarks of autism?  I guess that what I will have to do is help him strengthen the areas where he is weak, which is socialization.  The nervous tics might take some time to go away on their own, though. 

But back to my original thought - where are the "normal" people?  The truth is that I don't know if I am related to one or not. 

Take me for instance.  I was so shy growing up (and lactose intolerant).  I had the hardest time meeting new people and did awfully in new situations (I was not homeschooled, had an older sister, a younger brother and lots of family members around).  In first grade, I would walk home every single day before the end of class because I could not handle the pressures of school.  How did I do in class?  Very well, actually.  It came very easy to me.  The administrators at my school caught on to my game during second grade, though, and made me stay all day.  I made maybe two friends that year. 

My shyness continued through my childhood (I talked to myself a lot), through adolescence and into adulthood as well.  I did well enough in school, though, and left home at the age of 17 (for the Navy) and never went back.  As an adult, I've learned to work around my shyness and my introversion (though I develop a stutter if I am in uncomfortable situations).  Nothing makes me happier than being at home alone (and with my husband and son), though. 

My husband was also shy growing up, but did not speak to nothing as I did.  He is actually a pretty straight arrow. 

My mother, however, is another story.  She has a viciously bad temper.  She gets downright petulant and hard to tolerate when she gets angry.  However, she is a social butterfly.  Never have I met someone as gregarious as she.  I've often wondered if she's had a touch of something. 

My father is a hard core introvert.  Leave him alone with his TV and he is good.  I get a lot of my nature from him.  However, he does not share my shyness issues.  He was very popular at school and highly athletic. 

So, where are they?  Where are the "normal" people?  Do they exist?  Did they ever exist?  Do they wrestle with issues that have nothing to do with their physiology?  Or is our world simply building different people?

I know; I'm going off on an adaptation/anthropology tangent here. 

Still, I think that the "non normal" people might soon outnumber the "normal" people.  But maybe that is okay.  Maybe the world will change to accommodate us - the non normal people.  

What Is Common Core and How Does It Affect Me?

The truth is that I am not completely sure what Common Core Standards are.  I should know, as my son's homeschool counselor (a school teacher) has been trying to explain it to me for the past year or so. 

My rough translation (or interpretation) is that children will be tested on what they know, and will be asked to explain how they came to their answers.  I think that is entirely reasonable.  

There are opponents to Common Core, of course.  A lot of them are worried about Big Brother, Bill Gates, President Obama, etc.  I think that they should just shut up about that, and here is why:

No one can depend on schools to educate their children.  It is our job to educate our children.  If there is something that your kid needs work on that they are not getting in school, teach them that at home - or find a tutor.  If you don't like what is being taught at school, tell your kids to disregard that and teach them something else.  We get mixed signals and mixed messages throughout our lifetime; a lesson in accepting that there are differences between us and other people is one that we can all take, and retake. 

Religious Education vs. Secular Education

Lots of people homeschool because of religious reasons.  Public schools have largely pushed Christianity out of their doors, unfortunately.  

As I mentioned in a previous post, our reasons for homeschooling were academic and health-wise ones. 

However, we are religious.  Actually, we are practicing Catholics.  Here are some of the reading materials we have on hand to prove that:

But (here is the but), I love secular education.  I love Anthropology and Sociology.  I love science. Here are the books that show that: 

How does that jive with a religious education?  It doesn't - not exactly.  We simply teach both things - Christianity and secular based education. 

The truth is that I think that God made everything, but that he didn't explain how he did it, which is okay by me. 

So what should others teach?  I think that they should also teach their children EVERYTHING, so that their children can understand how others think.  The best way to argue for or against something is to be educated on all of the facts. 

Hidden Homeschooling Tools

Hi Folks!

I thought I'd share a few pictures of "hidden" homeschooling objects in our home.  Maybe you have them lurking in your closets, drawers, or corners, too.

 

Scrabble.  Learning new vocabulary words AND keeping score for arithmetic lessons.

 

Tablet PCs are awesome.  Crosswords are a great way to learn about synonyms and thesaurus.  (This app is actually from the UK, which triggered an interesting lesson regarding the English language and how it differs from country to country.

 

Calendars.  The boy asked about leap year, moon phases, holidays, how many days are in a month...

 

Telling time on an analog clock.  So crucial!

 

Telling time on a digital clock.  Important, too.

 

Temperature in Fahrenheit and Celsius.  Thermometers and thermostats.  Lots to learn here.

 

Liquid units of measure!

 

More temperature teachings (food safety, too). 

 

 

 

So, take a good look at your place.  You'd be surprised at how many educational opportunities are waiting to be discovered. 

Why We Homeschool...

Very early on, my husband and I realized that we had a pretty clever kid on our hands.  Granted, we started reading to him when he was about 6 weeks old, but began to show signs of being smart pretty quickly.  By the age of two, he was reading some words on his own.  By the time he was three, he was reading and writing.  By the time he was four, he was doing simple math, and had the US map and capitals memorized too.  It snowballed from there. 

I had not considered homeschool yet, but did research on Montessori schools, and all of the rest of the "really good" schools out there.  But then one day, everything changed. 

My husband shared a bit of his Butterfinger candy bar with our son.  I will never forget the way he cringed after he swallowed it.  Massive red welts then covered his back, face, neck and head.  We were sure that he was allergic to peanuts.  We woke him up every few minutes that night, just to make sure he was okay.  Two days later, all of the red welts were gone.  We took him to get tested for a peanut allergy; he was allergic. 

So, I did what any other person would do.  I Googled peanut allergies and found some disturbing facts.  Many of the poor children who had passed due to peanut allergies could have survived had their caregivers understood the seriousness of the allergic reactions. 

Not my kid.

So, homeschool it was.  He was still young at the time - not even three yet.  But I still bought him Kindergarten and First Grade activity books for him to complete at home.  He completed them.  I moved on to harder things, and he did fine with those too. 

Finally, he had reached the age where he was eligible for Early Admission Kindergarten.  A counselor at his charter homeschool confirmed what we suspected - our son was very clever and would probably not do well in Kindergarten. 

So, we homeschooled our son.  His charter homeschool helped me identify the areas in his education that I had inadvertently skipped; we backtracked and covered all of those. 

Today, we are still happily homeschooling.  I love the fact that I know what will enter my son's mouth and mind.  I love, love, love having him with me all of the time, too. 

So that is our story.  What is yours?

Cindy

Homeschooling - Lessons Learned

Good Morning, folks!  Well, it is technically morning here in sunny San Diego, California.

So.  My name is Cindy, and I am a homeschooling parent of one child. 

Before I get into my background and why we homeschool, I thought that I would first talk about things that I've learned about homeschooling that I did not find in a book. 

• Homeschooling is a job, and you have to treat it as such.  It will be something extra you have to do on top of housekeeping, child-minding, and cooking (or writing, if you write fiction like I do).  It can be taxing, even when it is rewarding.  Be sure to give yourself a break when you need to. 
• There are A LOT of opponents of homeschooling out there.  That might include your spouse, your parents, you friends, your aunt Melba who didn't care about your own education when you went to school, and even strangers.  Make sure you have a good "home team," meaning your spouse and your children. 
• You will constantly need to defend your homeschooling, even when your child is soaring academically speaking. 
• The big "S" - socialization.  You will have to get your kid outside of the house and around other kids, so that they don't forget that there are other kids out there.  But don't forget about the whole nature versus nurture thing, either.  If your child is outgoing, they will talk to anyone be it in school, or at the grocery store.  If they are shy by nature, they will be shy at school, or at a playgroup too. 
• Co-op groups are wonderful things to be a part of.  Not only will your child socialize with other kids, you will get the opportunity to talk to other parents about homeschooling.  Other local parents are great sources of information of what kind of activities can be done in your city.
• Homeschooling laws differ from state to state.  If you are part of a family that frequently moves, you might want to review the homeschooling laws for the states you're considering moving to. 
• It might be hard to manage school-aged children with babies and toddlers, so you'll want to get a good schedule down for that.  But do not be discouraged; hundreds of other parents do it, too. 
• If you've been teaching your toddlers about shapes, colors, numbers and other things, you've been homeschooling already. 

So, this is all I have (for now) as far as the unknowns I've discovered in my two plus years of homeschooling. 

Cindy